“I’ve learned that people will forget what you said,
people will forget what you did,
but people will never forget how you made them feel.”
By UB Owner Joyce Marter, LCPC
All too often, we take the people we love the most for granted: our lovers, family members, friends, and even our children. We forget the enormous power of our words, as we carelessly lash out when under stress. We stick our noses in our laptops and smartphones, assuming our loved ones know what we are failing to verbalize, sometimes until the relationships are disconnected or damaged beyond repair.
Make a choice to consciously nurture your relationships with verbal communications of love. Be kind and sincere. Ask open-ended questions with an open heart. Listen empathically and non-defensively. Remember, there are no conditions, no strings, no expectations, and no manipulations. Simply, love to love.
Sprinkle your relationships with these loving sentiments and watch your relationships blossom:
1. I am here for you.
2. Thank you. Thanks for all you do for me and all the ways in which you add value to my life.
3. You are beautiful. What I find most beautiful about you, inside and out, is: _____.
4. How are you? Truthfully, fully and completely—how are you, really?
5. Tell me about your dreams.
6. Tell me about your fears.
7. Tell me about your beliefs about life, love, the world, etc.
8. I am thinking about you.
9. I appreciate you.
10. I care about your feelings.
11. You are important to me.
12. I made a mistake and I’m sorry. I sincerely apologize. Please forgive me.
13. I value our relationship.
14. I am grateful and fortunate to have you in my life.
15. What can I do to support you?
16. How are you feeling about our relationship?
17. How are you feeling about me?
18. The qualities I love about you most are: _____.
19. I notice and really appreciate your efforts and growth in these areas: _____.
20. What’s most meaningful to me about our connection is: ______.
21. Great job! Nice work! Well done.
22. These are the ways in which you have touched my life and made me better: _____.
23. It’s an honor to know you and to be close to you.
24. I want the very best for you.
25. I cherish the following experiences we’ve shared: _______.
26. I trust you. I trust in our relationship.
27. I forgive you. I let go of my resentments.
28. These are all of the wonderful, positive qualities I see in you: _____.
29. Your greatest gifts and strengths are: _____.
30. I respect you.
31. I respect your decisions even though they’re different from mine or what I’ve recommended. You’re free to make your own choices.
32. I support you in any and every way that I can.
33. I believe in you.
34. I lovingly and trustingly give you the time and space you need.
35. You can achieve anything you want in life.
36. You are special. You are divinely and uniquely YOU.
37. You are free to be your authentic self in the context of our relationship.
38. I welcome you to be honest and truthful with me.
39. I desire to have/maintain an intimate and loving relationship with you.
40. You elicit the following positive emotions and feelings in me: _______.
41. You are not responsible for me, for my bad behaviors or my poor choices.
42. What would you like from me or from our relationship?
43. It’s not your fault. I don’t blame you.
44. I support you in taking care of yourself.
45. Your feelings are understandable and normal responses to everything you have been through.
46. I do not expect you to be perfect. I absolutely understand you are a human being and that none of us are perfect.
47. I acknowledge my areas of needed improvement including ABC, and am working on them by doing XYZ.
48. It’s important to me to know and understand you.
49. I come to you with an open heart and an open mind.
50. I love you fully, completely, and exactly as you are.
“The most precious gift we can offer anyone is our attention.
When mindfulness embraces those we love,
they will bloom like flowers.”
~Thich Nhat Hanh