Tired of cyclical arguments in your relationship? Feel like you talk and talk without finding a solution? With some simple adjustments, you can drastically improve the communication in your relationship. Here are some conflict resolution tips for dating couples, courtesy of Urban Balance therapist offices.
Don’t Threaten to Leave as a Tactic
One of the biggest differences between dating and marriage is the lack of defined commitment. If you want to leave, you technically can at any time. This can be a tempting tactic during an argument because it shows how serious you are about a matter. However, threatening to leave is not a healthy conflict resolution strategy. It de-values the relationship, and it does not address the real issues at hand. Instead of telling your partner you’re leaving (or leaving the house entirely), find a different way to phrase your point.
Figure out the Root Cause of the Argument
What’s actually going on in the argument? Are you actually mad about the dishes, or are you stressed about the housework that needs to be done? Do you really care if he goes out with his friends, or do you feel like you don’t spend enough quality time together? Get to the root of the matter because that is the only way to resolve it. Once you know what’s going on and why, you can come up with a solution together.
Actively Listen to Your Partner’s Concerns
It’s easy to get caught up in your own opinions, to the point that you completely ignore the other side of the discussion. In a relationship though, it’s important to see things from both angles. State your opinion in an honest and effective way, but then listen intently to what your partner has to say. This respect between the two of you will create better communication and smoother conflict resolution.
Resolve Your Disputes through Couples Counseling
Couples counseling is not reserved for engaged or married couples. In fact, a large portion of the couples we see here at Urban Balance are dating or living together. By working with a couples counselor, you can get personalized advice tailored for your lifestyle and personalities. You can also gain insight into your partner’s perspective by having an unbiased third party by your side.
Our couples counselors have years of experience. We have specialists to help you through every relationship milestone, including premarital counseling and therapy after infidelity. Contact our therapist office at (888) 726-7170 to get matched with a couples counselor near you.