Make it about building on strengths, don’t focus on filling deficits

Don’t begin with how we are less than we should be. Fulfillment doesn’t mean we acquire certain things, and then we will somehow be whole and successful. Don’t focus on what is lacking in your life, or what keeps you from attaining your ideals. This type of negative thinking negatively impacts self esteem and may leave you feeling depressed or down on yourself.

Keep it reasonable

For instance in your professional life, it is wise to set goals that are SMART (specific, measurable, actionable, realistic and timely.) Anything that too vague or takes too long to achieve will fail. Consider breaking a larger goal into smaller objectives – a more productive way to go.

People fail in their New Year’s resolutions also because they have not set up support systems to achieve their goals. You need to people in your life who want you to succeed, and can help measure increasing success. Therapy and counseling can also be a good source of support.

Steps for Better Resolutions:

Acceptance. Come to a place of acceptance of your life as it is, then you can move to where we want it to be. Some of the most painful experiences in your life can also bring great blessings. Understand you would not be who you are if you had not survived those experiences. Part of acceptance is letting go of the past. It is importance to let go and focus on the present. Come to a place of peace and acceptance rather than anxiety and worry about things that have passed.

Gratitude. Stop looking at your life from a place of deficit, instead see it from a place of gratitude. Create a gratitude list and read it or add to it daily. Count blessings in your life instead of making a list of what is lacking.

Support. Make sure that you have a good support network in your life. This may include family, friends, colleagues, health care providers, therapists, and other wellness professionals.

Vision. Create a vision for living your life authentically—I believe in self-fulfilling prophecy. If you imagine the life that you want, you increase the likelihood that this is the direction your life will go. Envision you as your best or highest self. Envision being happy, healthy, supported. The more you can imagine what that would look like, the more easily you can take concrete steps to move your life in this direction.

Positive. Pay attention to your thinking (ie cognitive-behavioral therapy.) Identify self defeating thought patterns, internal critics, and irrational belief systems. Restructure them into self-messages that convey self-acceptance and self-love.

Conclusions (and New Beginnings:)

Come up with a vision of your best self this New Year’s Eve. Outline how you want things to go in multiple areas of your life (health, love, career, money.) Additionally, a certified therapist can help develop a year’s plan, or a life vision, and help find your course for discovering your best self.

Why make resolutions? So that others will view you more favorably? Resolutions need to be made for yourself, not for others, this is the first thing you should consider before making your New Year’s resolutions.

Urban Balance prioritizes the safety of our clients and staff and will provide teletherapy counseling services.
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